Cars Would Be The Best Things Ever If They Never Broke Down And The Tooth Fairy Paid For Gas

Disclaimer: In the following entry I will seriously risk crying myself a river and playing the world's smallest violin.

As of yesterday evening I am once again a proud owner of a Ford product that refuses to start. After some thought and I believe the problem is not with the altinator, but the starter itself. The tow truck man told agreed with this anyway. And now that I think of it, I have had quite the on-going relationship with All American Towing here in Mankato and it almost seems as if the people at AAA know me by name.

The two guy who helped me last night is a guy who has helped me before. I consider him the role-model tow truck guy. They should put a picture of him in Tow Guy Manuals at the Tow Guy School. He's tall, sort of goofy looking and most likely an incarnation of a Ernest Hemmingway character--he doesn't talk much but he says everything with his body language. I could be wrong about this. This Tow Guy could also be like Eior (sp?) because when he picked me up to go over and get my car from the KT parking lot he gave me this look that said, "Oooookay, whhhhere weeee got toooo goooooo thissss tiiiiiimme?" In reality all he said was, "Where is it?" My god, in praise of directness.

So we go over to the parking lot and try our best to get the taurus running (he's doing the real work of fiddling with the mechanics while I simply turn the key when he waves his mitten). After about five minutes he just shrugs his shoulders.
"It's not going to start is it?"
The tow guy shakes his head.
"Alright, let's just take it back to my place."
"Slip it in neutral and I'll push it out," the Tow Guy says. He proceeded to push the car out with me in it and ocassionally pushing with only one arm to direct me how to turn the wheel. In this moment, I feel about as manly as a boquette of daffodils at a tea party.

When I get into the tow cab I say to the guy, "I have the worst luck with cars."
He purses his lips and nods probably thinking this is the hundreth time he's heard this today; he's probably thinking that old saying, "You don't have bad luck. You're just a dumbass."
Which is kind of true because when it comes to mechanics I know just the basic of the basics. I know that a "starter" exists, but wouldn't know where to find it. I know an "alternator" exists and that it is most likey nowhere near the trunk since it charges the battery, yes, the alternator must be near the battery.

Back at my place, Tow Guy backs the taurus into a spot in one swoop. I would probably require the size of a football field to back a car in a tow truck and I like to think of myself as a pretty good driver. "Well, that's it," Tow Guy says and hands me a AAA slip to sign. I sign, say thanks, and Tow Guy nods, "No problem." Then tow guy is off into the cold night to rescue some other person.